Learning to Lean

Senior year of college! Here it is! And with it, all the uncertainties of a non-student life.  As a friend pointed out, we've been in school practically our whole lives up until college graduation. So, a life without classes, professors, and homework really will be a new thing.  I've got the whole year to dream with Jesus about what will come next, and in the midst of it all, I feel that I'll be challenged, once again, to step outside what is comfortable, to step into the realm of things I don't fully understand, and, because of this, to step directly into His arms. Here are a few bits of wisdom that have been rolling around in my mind and heart: 


‎'To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, we do not know what a day may bring forth. This is generally said with a sigh of sadness; it should rather be an expression of breathless expectation.' - Oswald Chambers


Pause for a minute and let that sink in. In fact, re-read it, slowly & carefully.  


I'll be honest, there have been a couple of moments already this year when the not-knowing hasn't exactly been 'an expression of breathless expectation." In fact, it's looked a lot more like worry & stress.  But, all of this thinking & wondering has also led me to a deeper knowledge of how I need Him. Every hour I need Him. 
And I think that's the point. We're created to need Him. Because of that, the learning to lean becomes less about figuring out facts & plans & more & more about diving deeper into the depths of His love & compassion & mercy for me, His daughter. My focus shifts from worry to worship. 


I've been reading an excellent book, The Divine Conspiracy, by Dallas Willard, and yesterday I ran across this beautiful version of the Lord's Prayer.


Dear Father, always near us, 
may your name be treasured and loved,  
may your rule be completed in us--
may your will be done here on earth
in just the way it is done in heaven. 
Give us today the things we need today, 
and forgive us our sins and impositions on you 
as we are forgiving all who in any way offend us. 
Please don't put us through trials, 
but deliver us from everything bad. 
Because you are the one in charge, 
and you have all the power, 
and the glory, too, is all yours--forever--
which is just the way we want it!

And this is exactly what He's teaching me right now--the learning to lean, the worship of dependence.