Inexpressible.

"In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls." 

-1 Peter 1:6-9

Have you ever had a season of life like this?  The past few months, and really this first semester here in Iowa City have been the hardest and best of my life.  Truly, I can say that I love Jesus and cherish Him more because of all the difficult things that have come my way.  

This weekend was our first retreat for Salt Company in Iowa City, and as I sat in a room with about 80 other college students, I was amazed at all that has happened in the past year.  Almost a year ago, I sat in an auditorium in Ames, Iowa and listened as Troy and Mark explained the move to Iowa City.  They extended a call to go, and from that point, I knew that my life (or at least the next several years) would look drastically different than what I had planned.  

While sitting in that conference room at the retreat this weekend, I saw the just the beginnings of the fruit from almost a year of prayer and preparation.  We heard talks on brokenness, purity, forgiveness and healing---lives were rocked by God's grace, mercy, and love.  Two people chose to give their lives to Christ. Countless others let go of bitterness and hurt, choosing to let God heal their hearts.  Though we have not seen Jesus, we felt His love more tangibly than ever before---and the room was filled with joyful worship at the grace we have been so freely given.  The beauty of this weekend--and God Himself--was, and is, inexpressible.  

And I can't help but believe that this inexpressible beauty was only magnified by the struggles of these past three months.  Through trials, I know Him better.  Jesus has proven Himself more than worthy of my love.  He has humbled me to a new level of dependence and reliance on Him.  And in that, I see Him more clearly than I ever have before.  

"Not until we have become humble and teachable, standing in awe of God's holiness and sovereignty, acknowledging our own littleness, distrusting our own thoughts, and willing to have our minds turned upside-down, can divine wisdom become ours." -J.I. Packer

Wise words. And, it would seem, the theme of this season of my life.