Dad's Proud of You

Hello Dear Reader,

I want to share with you, tonight, a beautiful picture of the Father's love. A couple of weeks ago, my cousin posted a sweet video of his daughter. This adorable little one is working on learning her ABC's, and the video was documenting her latest version of the song. Her cheerful little voice pronounced the letters, one by one, and the video was charming. She forgot a few letters, as everyone tends to do when learning the song (there are, after all, 26 letters to remember!), but that's not at all what stands out at video's conclusion. You see her big smiling eyes and adorable little face.

Then comes the God-moment. As I finished watching the video, I looked over at the comments, and read one from her proud dad. The comment previous to his was expressing some sort of delight in the cuteness of the video, and his response was so simple, but so powerful, "She's mine!" 

In that moment, God used my cousin and his little girl to show me a sweet, sweet picture of how He feels about each one of us. He looks at us, His children, and He is proud! He's bursting with joy over us!

We, like my cousin's little girl, don't always do everything perfectly. Sometimes we forget some of the letters in the song, but His delight isn't dependent upon our performance. He's proud because we're His. In some crazy way, we are God's kids, and He is a proud Dad.

So, Dear Reader, hear the Father saying about you, "She's mine," or "He's mine," with such pride and joy in His voice that it borders on ridiculous. He's crazy about you. He always will be.

"See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" - 1 John 3:1

Home Sweet Home

Hello Dear Reader! 

I've been home for about a week now, and life has been sweet. Here are a few of my favorite things this week: 

Down to the bare minimum, mid-project. 

 I found an old chair last fall. It caught my eye because it was covered in a certain teal vinyl. Beautiful color, but ripped and stained. So, yesterday I ripped into it and began the re-covering process. It was my first re-upholstering job, but I've seen Cathy do it so many times that it went pretty easily! 

Finished Product.

 I was out and about today in the nearby town of Fairmont, MN, and I came across all sorts of lovely treasures: 

Lovely Lacy Jacket, Clearanced. That's a win. 

Beautiful Cream Train Case. $5. 

A rainbow of books, ready for listing on Etsy this week.

New books of stamps. Beautiful options at your local Post Office!  ;)  

Everyday life is full of beautiful things; we've just got to keep our eyes open! 

Homeward Bound

Dear Reader, 

I can hardly believe it as I write this, but my time in Spain is drawing to a close. I have eight days left at Generation 42, and I am overwhelmed when I think back on all God has taught me and done in me. Thank you, for being a part of this with me. 

When I came to Spain, I anticipated learning a lot of practical skills, and I've definitely done that. But, I've also encountered God in such a way that I've been changed by Him, and that's one of the sweetest gifts I've ever been given. During my time here in Spain, God has refined my vision and shown me that His plans for me are incredibly accomplishable. I really, truly do believe that He is able to do whatever He says He will do. 

I've also gained some direction for my time following Spain, and I've been given the opportunity to assist some dear friends in the start of something I am extremely passionate about: The local church. One of my fellow interns here at Generation 42, Ryan Banko, has a vision to start a church community in the city of Memphis, TN, so I will be moving to Memphis at the beginning of October to help make this Kingdom Dream a reality. I believe that my vision for helping women will flow out of the community that develops in Memphis, and I'm very excited to see what God will do in this next season! I would LOVE it if you would continue to pray along with me! 

Here are some specific requests:
-Eyes to see all that He has for me in my remaining time in Spain
-Safe travel for my luggage and I back to the USA
-God's Spirit to move as I lead a youth group mission trip the morning after I return!
-God's continued guidance and favor as we advance plans for planting a church in Memphis, TN in the fall 

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. I really can't say it enough. I can say with certainty that this season of life has been one of the most impactful of my life, and I'm excited to share more with each of you when I'm back in the USA (if you're one of my USA friends, that is)! 

Love from Spain, 

Jenny 

P.S. If you have any burning questions or comments, please feel free to get in touch via email or Facebook!

email: jenny.tokheim@gmail.com 

P.P.S. Ryan blogged about this crazy-awesome church planting adventure awhile ago, too. Check his blog out here: http://thelionsfire.wordpress.com/2013/03/06/god-is-sending-me-to-to/ 

May 16th, 2013: The Back of the House

Hello Dear Reader, 

I've decided to write a bit about the place I'm living in, because my time here is quickly drawing to a close. The goal is a post per day with picture(s) and a bit of writing. I have been so incredibly blessed in this place, and I want to remember a few of the familiar things when my memories of them seem further away. 

So, enjoy Mijas. 

The tiles on the roof are full of moss, collecting dirt that blows down from the hill just behind our house. The white-washed walls are on the verge of needing to be repainted, but oh my, how friendly and familiar is this view, the the view of the back of the house. I have heard much life within these walls--joy, sorrow, confusion, and silliness. All of it has happened within the walls of this house we've named Bethel: House of God. 

From the terrace I can hear the village. The church bells (both sets of them) chime every hour and half-hour, first one church, then the next several minutes later. They are unabashedly out of sync. Tonight there's a children's birthday party at the restaurant next door, and I can hear child-laughter and song intermingling with the call of near-dusk birdsong and the local dog population's nightly serenade. The village is a living thing. It has a heartbeat all its own. 

A Psalm of Jenny

We're doing a bit of artistic learning this week at G42, and last night our assignment was to write a psalm using three words we've never used before to describe ourselves. 

Here's mine: 

A Psalm of Jenny.

I praise you, God, who has taught me to be a delighter in the simple. 

You've moved my heart with many a sunrise. 

You're stirred my soul with soft breeze and whispered love. 

You've shown me how to rejoice in the raindrops. 

I worship you, Father, who has made me in your image, after the likeness of your inner being. 

You've made me a nurturer, a bringer of life to dead things, an encourager of life that already breathes. 

You've made your passion for life abundant my passion and my joy. 

I thank you, Papa, because you've shown me that I can be uncomplicated in your sight. 

I am understood by you, fully and completely. 

You are the Knower of me;

The beginning, the end, (and the middle) of my joy. 

Give All You Have

"...But just as you excel in everything--in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in your love for us--see that you also excel in this grace of giving. 

I am not commanding you, but I want to test the sincerity of your love by comparing it with the earnestness of others. For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich. 

And here is my advice about what is best for you in this matter: Last year you were the first not only to give but also to have the desire to do so. Now finish the work, so that your eager willingness to do it may be matched by your completion of it, according to your means.For if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what one does not have. Our desire is not that others might be relieved while you are hard-pressed, but that there might be equality. At the present time your plenty will supply what they need, so that in turn their plenty will supply what you need. Then there will be equality, as it is written: 

'He who gathered much did not have too much, and he who gathered little did not have too little.'" 

-Paul, 2nd Corinthians 8:7-15

"When the dew was gone, thin flakes like frost on the ground appeared on the desert floor. When the Israelites saw it, they said to each other, 'What is it?' For they did not known what it was. 

Moses said to them, "It is the bread the LORD has given you to eat. This is what the LORD has commanded: 'Each one is to gather as much as he needs. Take an omer for each person you have in your tent.'

The Israelites did as they were told; some gathered much, some little. And when they measured it by the omer, he who gathered much did not have too much, and he who gathered little did not have too little. Each one gathered as much as he needed. 

Then Moses said to them, 'No one is to keep any of it until morning.' 

However, some of them paid no attention to Moses; they kept part of it until morning, but it was full of maggots and began to smell. So Moses was angry with them." 

-Exodus 16:14-23

I was reading through these scriptures about two weeks ago, and I had one of those moments where God just seems to drop truth into my mind and heart. Let me attempt to explain it all a bit: 

I've been in the middle of abundance. I've realized, even more, the reality of all the fullness that God's given me through Jesus. He's so good! He's given me His inheritance and made me His daughter! His Spirit lives in me! That's crazy! 

I've also begun to realize that abundance tests my heart. It challenges me to give all that I've been given. To speak the words of love that God's whispered to my heart and to speak the truth that He's used to set me free. I have to give it away. Not only do I have to give it all away, but I want to. I want to end each day seeking His provision for the next. And here's the good news: I know He'll be faithful. 

Just like Israel's manna, if I keep Him to myself, I get stale. My relationship with Him is supposed to be a source of life to me, but also to the people around me. If I cling tight to the spiritual bread He gave me yesterday, I not only miss today's fresh spiritual bread, but I also miss the goodness of gathering it. I miss out on Him if my soul's eating something stale instead of meeting with Him to get the fresh stuff.  

So, a couple of summation bullet points/mini-sermons to myself: 

• Don't be afraid to give yourself away, to trust Him to be your life. 
• Don't be a hoarder. Don't save some back for emergencies. 
• Live in His presence (and out of its fullness). 
• He gives fresh spiritual bread for my soul to eat---everyday! 
• He's trustworthy. He's not lying to us. 

Dear Reader, we've all been given an abundance in Christ Jesus. You have something precious. You're meant to give it away. I think, as you do this, you'll find what I've found, there's always more than enough. 

"Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act. Do not say to your neighbor, 'Come back later; I'll give it tomorrow'--when you have it with you." 

-Proverbs 3:27-28

"And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." 

-Philippians 4:19

An Excerpt: Veneer: Living Deeply in a Surface Society

I've recently finished a book by Timothy D. Willard and Jason Locy called, Veneer: Living Deeply in a Surface Society. It's all about real, real relationships, both with other people, and with God. It's been challenging; it's been fun. I'd recommend it. 

Here's a little (or slightly long) snippet for you to check out. I really enjoyed this bit because it's such an accurate depiction of the way my life feels right now---enjoy! 

"There's a great camping spot in George Washington National Forest called Panther Falls. It's tucked deep in the woods, but if you can borrow a friend's Land Rover, you can make it. The waterfalls, flowing beneath the tall deciduous canopy, tier down the side of the mountains. 

At the top of the falls, to the right of the massive boulders jutting from the ground, rests the perfect campsite. Below, the water collects in a deep pool, deep enough to jump into from atop the falls. If you make it to Panther Falls, build your bonfire at dusk and enjoy some hot dogs, cold beverages, and s'mores, then, wait until dark, take off your clothes, and jump from the top of the falls into the dark, freezing-cold pool below. It's not a huge drop, maybe twenty feet. But you will scream like a little girl. You will freeze your eyelids off. And you'll do it over and over. 

Becoming intimate with God feels a lot like jumping from Panther Falls at night, naked. We stand there contemplating the whole thing. Making sure we jump in the right place so we don't hit the rocks below. A sense of nervous excitement fills our bellies. But if we don't take the first step toward the edge, we miss the point of the trip. We have to jump. 

But it's not just the jump that is so invigorating. It's the falling from the cliff in the pitch of night, screaming with fright and glee until we hit the water, plummeting from the familiar to the unknown. The cold, the impact, the immediate change to the underwater world--there, time freezes as the exhilaration of the jump courses through our veins. For a moment, the darkness of the underwater world holds us. 

People often say that faith is like stepping into the unknown, stepping off a cliff. And for those of us who do jump, we experience significant change. We surface, gasping for air, and then tread silently in the dark water. We are reborn, again--children playing under the watchful eye of the God who whispers to us, "Do it again." And we do; we climb in the darkness, up the cliff, freezing, wet, and fully alive. We go through the same steps, and though we've done it before, a tinge of fear remains and we can't wait for it to overwhelm us. This time we don't step off the cliff; we leap. 

There is darkness. There is the fall. There is the hard impact with the water. But there is now, also, a knowing. Not a knowing in the sense that we fully understand the water or the darkness or the fall but rather a knowing that unfolds. We anticipate the healthy fear of the leap, the excitement of falling into what we can't fully see, and the joy of a new underwater world. 

With God, the deeper we plunge, the more he expands. Believing in him is merely the jumping off point, the first step. Intimacy with him feels more like screaming all the way down during the cliff jump and lingering extra long in the underwater world, afraid, yet quickened, revealing, yet mysterious. We would jump off a thousand cliffs just to feel that sense of aliveness in God! And when we realize that his heart burns for us, we can, for that briefest of moments, touch eternity--fully known, expectant to one day fully know."

I was at the shore a couple of days ago, and I found myself sitting by a rock with some graffiti on it. I probably wouldn't have taken the time to read it, but some little Spanish boys scrambled over to the rock and began to try to read the poem, which was written in English. After they struggled over the first few words, I read it outloud for them. 

In case you can't read it all, the poem went like this: 

"Long you live and high

you fly...smiles you give, and 

tears you'll try, and all you touch

and all you see is all your life ...

will ever be."

The rhymes were very nice and sing-songy, but when I finished reading it, I thought, "How terrible!" You see, I can't quite accept the idea that all we have is what happens in the here and now. There's so much more. So very much more. The lives we live echo into eternity, and I'm so very glad. 

So, this Easter Sunday, a rainy one here in Spain, I'm thankful, again, for a life that will outlive me. I've been given a beautiful hope and future: Christ in me, the hope of glory! Jesus is alive and well and on the loose, friends! There's so much to look forward to! 

Happy Easter! 

Playing Catch-Up: A journal entry from February 27th, 2013

Psalm 57:7-8

My heart is steadfast, O God, 

my heart is steadfast. 

I will sing and make music. 

Awake, my soul! 

Awake, harp and lyre! 

I will awaken the dawn. 

Sometimes, I have to wake my sleepy soul into the dawn of the light of Christ. Sometimes the soul's sleep is just a worn-out-tired, sometimes it's a distracted half-glance, sometimes a purposeful slumber, but I speak life and breath into my heart-of-hearts. I speak wakefulness to the drowsy one inside of me and say, "Awake, O Sleeper and let Christ shine on you! Receive His joy! Receive His peace!"

Lord, here's my turning soul, gradually lifting itself from the blankets of sleep and night. I see much more clearly now than I did at the beginning of the week, and I'm grateful for the fresh eyes. Teach this attentive and overflowing soul today, Papa. I sit at your feet and say that I am listening. Here I am. Teach me.

I remember when I was flying into Malaga about two months ago. I was just in your hands, unsure of what exactly was before me, except for your faithfulness. I have not been disappointed.

You have transformed my heart, God of Everything, in ways that I never could have planned. I believe your love for me. I believe in your strength to accomplish your purposes. You are true, and I love you. I lean not on my own understanding.

No Shoes On: A Gift from God

Has God ever given you a really sweet gift to help you understand Him better? A couple of weeks ago He did that for me in the form of this poem.

I had a dream about a mother and her child. They were laying on the floor, barefoot, and the little girl was falling asleep. As she drifted off, the mother spoke this poem over her. I remember really liking the poem in my dream, but when I woke up, I could only recite the first two lines.

Later that day, I tried to write my way into the rest of the poem, but it just wasn't working out. So, I just asked God to give me the poem back. Within a few minutes, all of it flooded back into the front of my mind. I literally just started writing and scribbled it all down in a minute, exactly as it was in the dream.

I believe it's a picture of the tender love that the Father has for His children. So, dear friends, read it through the lens of God's love for you. It's better than you can imagine.

No Shoes On

No shoes on

Skin to skin

You're fast asleep

And I begin

To sing a song of love so deep

I kiss your fingers while you sleep. 

Skin so soft

Your pretty toes

I laugh a bit
At your crinkled nose. 

Breath so deep 

You sigh awhile
And then, so softly

Begin to smile. 

Child so dear

And sweet to me

You are all my eyes can see. 

Little One, 

My Dear, My True, 

I am so in love with You. 

Morning Prayer

Hey Friends,

I've been doing a good bit of writing since I've been in Spain. It's one of the ways that God's been moving in me and through me. This is a poem I finished awhile ago, but I was reminded of it one morning while I watched the sunrise over the Med. So, here you go, friends:

The Poetry-Inspiring Sunrise

Morning Prayer

The birds burst forth in morning song, 

The wind flits through the leaves, 

Bright sunshine streams in light-beams long, 

And I am on my knees. 

I kneel before Creator God, 

His Son, the Prince of Peace, 

And welcome His strong Spirit near, 

His presence brings me ease. 

Before the King of Heavens High
I lift my voice, and I do cry

I carry all my burdens here
And then I lay them all to die. 

Before the empty cross of sin,
Rings music from His heavenly spheres.

Deep in my soul, truth settles in,

And swiftly quenches all my fears. 

I rise from that dear holy place, 

The place where victory's won, 

And find myself in broadening space, 

Now that the new has come. 

Pictures of My Life

For you non-Facebookers, here are a few snapshots from the last couple of weeks. God has been so good to me in this beautiful place! 

The Mediterranean

View from the a favorite spot

God has been so good to give me cats to pet! 

Some of my new, dear friends, greeting a donkey in the morning. 

Things That Are Funny.

There are a number of funny/awesome/random things about life in Spain so far. Here are a few: 

• There are quite a few tourists wandering around Mijas. One of the things they do is ride these 'donkey taxis' around the town. It's a pretty comical sight to see a grown man being led around on a small donkey. It looks something like this: 

• One of the local shop owners is half-Iowan. I was wandering around town one afternoon and stopped to admire a lovely leather bag in a shop window. The shop owner came outside and asked where I was from (because I don't quite fit the physical description of a local), and I answered, "The United States," like usual. He asked where, and I responded, "I'm from Iowa," with a hint of question, because most people don't have a clue where Iowa is located. He says, "Really?! My father was born in Sioux City!" If I wasn't before, I'm definitely now a believer in the world's smallness.  

• All the shops are closed between the hours of 2 and 5 pm here in Mijas. Siesta. Naptime. It's serious business. 

• Toilet paper is un-flushable. Bathroom garbage cans have lids. 

• Because of the previously mentioned donkey taxis roaming around Mijas, you have to watch your step on the lovely cobbled streets. 

• There's a group of nice older gentlemen that sit in the square down the street from our house. They have fun hats, some have canes, and they seem to be in constant conversation/consideration about the happenings of Mijas. They always sit on the same bench, and they always have a friendly, "Hola!" for me on my way to and from class. We're friends. 

• Good news: An ice cream shop opened for the season. Bad news: It's on our street. 

In His Hands

How are you doing, friends?

I finally feel like I can put into some words all that I've been learning and seeing these past three weeks in Spain. I was doing a bit of wandering around the square in Mijas today, and I stopped inside an art gallery to have a look around. Towards the back of the room, there was a sculpture from a series called, "Trust." The sculpture itself was a large hand with a woman lying inside the palm of the hand. As I looked at it, I realized that the sculpture was really how I've felt these past three weeks: held in the palm of God.

I'm so very thankful to belong to Him, friends.

In class these past weeks, we've been learning a lot about the Father's love for us, His children. It's amazing to realize that you and I are actually children of the Lord Most High. It's life altering, actually.

He changes the way I do life. Every little action matters. Every moment of my life can be used to display His love to the people around me.

God is in the details, dear friends. The grand plans are awesome to see, amazing to dream about, but each little piece along the way is precious.

Arrival!

Hello Everyone!

I arrived safe and sound (with luggage) last night around 7:30pm, Spain time. I'm getting settled, meeting the other interns, and starting to explore Mijas a bit. Here are a few photos from our walk around Mijas this morning:

View of Mijas 

The sea, and somewhere out there, Africa. 

The Local Bull Fighting Ring

My Street! 

It's been a great first day here in Mijas! Thank you all for praying for me!

Tres Días. [Three Days.]

Last New Year's Eve, I was filling out my application for Generation 42, and today, I have 3 days left before I'm there! My bags are half-packed, I've whittled my stack of books to take down to four, and I'm finishing up a bunch of little things before I'm gone for half a year! 

There are a few things I would love prayer for as I get ready to go, and I'm so thankful that you all are lifting me up to the Father. 

Pray...

...for my final time with the youth group I've been blessed to lead this fall/winter. Pray that they would continue to see Jesus more & more! 

...for my parents. My leaving makes them real empty-nesters; my sister, Megan left last week for 3 months in Romania. 

...for health & wellness as I travel. So far, so good! 

...for some good conversations with the people I meet along the way. 

...for all my team's luggage to arrive promptly. 

...for fast & real friendships to be built among our team as we arrive in Mijas over the next week. 

I can't say it enough. I am so thankful for each and every one of you. I really, really mean it when I say I couldn't do it without you!!